Stay In The Fog
I have been having those up and down days and I have been trying to figure out why I am so inconsistent, why can I not stay Spiraling Up and keep slipping back into the Fog or worse yet starting the Spiral Down?
So I “Rumbled” with that…for you Brené Brown fans such as myself. Here is what I discovered…
I had set my intention, when this whole COVID thing began, to be a “good example” of processing the Fog and Spiraling Up. I did the things I suggested in my previous blog:
Lean into and on each other—I have an awesome group of friends who are incredibly supportive and good listeners. We talk daily.
Process the feelings—worked on naming what I felt (more on that in a minute) and sought to understand why I felt it, re-framed my self-talk, and processed out loud with friends
Think appreciatively—I increased my meditations, sought inspiring quotes, and watched the live sessions at the Dolphin Research Center (works for me!)
I would have good days, productive days, even happy days. Then I would have a day that wasn’t so good, like today. That would frustrate me. Why can’t I stay consistent? For crying out loud it is my model and I can’t make it work? You can see where this can lead.
Several weeks ago, I had coffee with my friend and colleague Stuart Chittenden. I love our conversations because he is really gifted at questions and at giving a unique perspective. The thing that really stuck with me after that conversation was when he asked, “is there ever a time when staying in the Fog is the right thing to do?” I remember fumbling with a response that probably made very little sense. Well now I know the answer, “YES.”
In my attempts to “process” the Fog I would slip into, I moved too quickly—trying to be that “good example”. It was like I was scrambling up a hill and I would make progress, and think I have it, just to slip back down. So today, I am staying in the Fog and in doing so I realized I was not naming the feelings correctly. What I wanted to see as frustration was really fear. I will not get into what these fears are for me, it is way too personal for a blog post—even for me, but suffice to say that getting the feeling named correctly is a good solid foundation for getting out of the Fog. I am on much more solid footing to trek this hill.
What is your self-talk right now? How are you processing your Fog? Do you have your feelings named correctly?
